06 May Story of a dropout boy
P is 12 years old and came from a single-parent family. His father worked away from home most of the time and P was under the care of his grandparents. Because of the family problems, P had lived in various locations. Eventually, he was suspended from school for one year due to the inability to obtain the student transfer card.
When P first came to the child care center, he was a slovenly boy with dull eyes and dirty hands who dared not look at others. At the age of 12, he should have been in the sixth grade, but he did not understand addition and subtraction, spelling, reading, and even literacy. He seemed to be a slow learner. P is both inferior and arrogant. He often cries when facing minor setbacks to get sympathy from the teachers and to cover up his weakness and laziness. When he has a little progress and gets appreciation and encouragement from teachers, he then easily becomes arrogant and shows disrespect for teachers and bullying behavior towards others.
After spending time with him, we gradually understand P’s past. His parents had divorced, her mother soon got sick, depressed and eventually died. After his mother’s death, P and his brother lived with their father. However, his father loved gambling and drinking; and only visit his sons occasionally. They are under the care of the grandparents. When P did well, his father would reward him with money or gifts. When he did something wrong, he would immediately be beaten up. There is not much communication between father and son. P is like a ball being passed around. He is lacking a sense of security nor a sense of belonging. He has difficulty in trusting people, also lacks love and self-confidence. He used to have a lot of negative experiences, and rarely receives positive encouragement. He was often punished by the school teachers and left standing outside the classroom, and thus missed a lot of opportunities to learn.
To enhance P’s confidence, we often tell him, “Do not be afraid, just believe. You can do it! Your teachers treasure you!” We also encourage him to do things on time that is within his ability to correct his undisciplined attitude towards learning. When he has done well, not only we praise him but also remind him not to be complacent. When he has done wrong, we make less criticism but try to guide him to have self-reflection and find ways to improve. We once helped him develop a small goal: to memorize the Multiplication Table in one month. During the course, he first appeared to have an uncooperative attitude. Through constant communication and persistence, we finally saw his transformation. He started to gain self-confidence and willing to persist. He trusts that we truly love him and try to help him to get better. He began to respect us from his heart. Before the end of the semester, P can successfully recite the Multiplication Table. He has become an energetic and hygienic child who believes himself can make improvements. We are thankful for this boy!